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Blackfriars Hall > Building a Positive Living Community

Building a Positive Living Community

Building a Positive Living Community

A successful household is built on mutual respect, good communication, and shared responsibility, all of which need the ongoing effort and consideration of everyone. The following suggestions can help your living group thrive:

 

Communicate Early and Kindly

  • Have a group conversation with housemates early in the term to discuss household expectations.
  • Share information about study schedules, sleep patterns, or special circumstances that might affect shared living.
  • Use shared messaging groups responsibly: communicate clearly, limit household messaging to practical matters only, and avoid sending messages to a group in frustration.
  • Raise concerns gently and promptly, since small issues are easier to resolve before they escalate.
  • Be open to compromise; everyone has different schedules and habits.

 

Establish Shared Agreements (either informally or in writing)

Setting out basic norms helps prevent problems later.

Consider agreeing on:

  • Cleaning responsibilities (e.g., rota for kitchen, bins, surfaces, bathrooms).
  • Noise expectations (quiet hours, exam times, night?time noise).
  • Use of shared items such as appliances, utensils, or communal supplies.
  • Visitors and overnight guests, including advance notice and duration of stays.

These agreements do not need to be formal, just clear, fair, and reviewed from time to time.

 

Respect Shared Spaces

Shared areas work best when everyone contributes to their upkeep.

Try to:

  • Clean up after cooking or using common rooms.
  • Keep walkways and surfaces clear (this is also a fire safety requirement)
  • Be mindful of smells, food storage, and fridge/freezer space, and the risks of pests coming into the accommodation if food is left out.
  • Avoid leaving personal belongings in large communal spaces.

A tidy shared space reduces stress and prevents small frustrations from building up.

 

Practice Everyday Consideration

Being mindful of others is key to a positive household, for example:

  • Keeping noise to a minimum during late nights and early mornings.
  • Not using shared areas for long private phone calls.
  • Giving housemates advance notice about guests or gatherings.
  • Recognising when others may need quiet, privacy, or space.

Small acts of courtesy go a long way.

 

Let Housemates Know About Guests

  • If you plan to have a guest stay or visit late, it is considerate to give housemates advance notice.
  • Discuss expectations for visitors at the start of term.

 

Be Considerate of Wellbeing

  • Recognise that others may be managing academic or personal pressures.
  • Check in with housemates who seem overwhelmed or withdrawn.
  • Encourage a culture of kindness and respect.

 

Required University Learning for Positive Community Living

All Oxford University students are now being required to complete mandatory training each year on:

  • Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion and Freedom of Speech
  • Consent

These courses help establish shared expectations and ensure our residents understand how to contribute to a supportive environment.

 

Welfare Support at Blackfriars Hall

Blackfriars has a strong welfare culture supported by a proportionately unusually large and well?trained team, where we are often able to give students 1:1 attention. Students in our accommodation can access:

Welfare Staff

  • Welfare Lead
  • Welfare Officer
  • Junior Dean for Welfare
  • Two trained Harassment Officers
  • The Senior Tutor (who is also our Disability Lead) is available to discuss concerns, especially those that can have an impact on academic work.

These staff members are available for confidential support, guidance, and signposting to specialist services.

 

Peer Supporters

Peer supporters are trained to offer active listening and informal welfare support. They can help you talk through concerns, mediate small household issues, or signpost you to additional help.

 

Weekly Welfare Teas in the Welfare Room

Held in the dedicated Welfare Room, these informal gatherings offer:

  • A relaxed space with drinks and snacks
  • An opportunity to meet others
  • Regular access to welfare staff in a friendly environment

 

MCR Welfare Events

The Middle Common Room (MCR) organises welfare?focused activities throughout term, which may include:

  • Social events
  • Wellbeing workshops
  • Informal gatherings for connection and support

These events help build a sense of community within and beyond our accommodation.

 

Preventing Conflict and Supporting Good Communication

Blackfriars encourages proactive steps to avoid unnecessary conflict:

If an issue arises:

Almost all conflict becomes harder to manage when ignored.  When something comes up:

  1. Pause first, approach the situation calmly and without assuming intent.
  2. Talk privately and respectfully, avoiding confrontation in shared spaces.
  3. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel…” or “I’ve noticed…”, rather than accusations.
  4. Listen actively, since everyone’s perspective matters.
  5. Focus on solutions, not blame. Often a quick conversation is all that’s needed.

Seek guidance early
A member of the welfare team or a peer supporter can offer advice on how to address the situation constructively.

Request mediated support
The Junior Dean for Welfare can help facilitate discussions when needed.